Black and Blue

I tried the darker blue nail polish, and I mean to tell you (as my grandmother would say), it is by far the most popular thing I have ever worn in all my life. Here is a list of the people who have complimented it:

1. Two coworkers
2. Receptionist at my nutritionist's office
3. Generally cranky woman with limited English who works at Panera, whose expression of delight came through a whimsical little waggling of her own fingernails
4. The nurse who assisted with my colonoscopy. Seriously.

It's Essie's Aruba Blue, and honestly I'm still looking at my fingers and wondering if they look cheesy. Part of me suspects that people are complimenting me because it looks so weird that they feel driven to say something. This has happened to me in the past when someone's hair is a really bad color or cut. But this is generally when I know someone, and the situation calls for me to say something, anything. In this case, almost invariably, the complimenters (that's so not a word) have not been people I know well at all, so my conclusion is that they actually like it. No wonder it's all the rage.

This morning I had an acute attack of fashion anemia. I put on a pair of grey plaid pants with a black shirt and a darker grey sweater. I felt awkward, and my awkwardness was confirmed when my husband said to me, "Ih. You look funny." By the way, "ih" is not my name, but rather the sound of disgust. "I know, I do, right?"

I went on a tear through my dressers and closet searching for an item I knew did not exist there: black pants.

Why is it so hard to find an appropriate pair of frigging black pants for work? If I could find these pants, I would buy 25 pairs, and wear them every day. I have black suit pants with stripes. I have blue work pants with a light pin stripe (my favorite pants at the moment). I have brown suit pants, also with stripes. There's a reason I have all these stripes. They're flattering. For the life of me, I can not find a pair of plain black pants that does the same for my shape. The result is that I have trouble pairing tops with pants, because I always have to wear solids on top. It is my dream, actually, to have a beautifully tailored pair of grey pants, black pants, navy blue pants, and brown pants. I mean really. Those should be a staple in any person's wardrobe. I am open to suggestions, oh Internet, although I know I do not have many (or any) readers yet. I have a serious pants problem!